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Ce-i faci daca flirteaza?
Ce-si doreste cel mai mult o femeie? Un iubit atragator. Sa fie cum? Galant, bine imbracat, bine crescut si, daca se poate, sa arate bine. In asa fel incat sa intoarca toate celelalte femei capul dupa el pe strada? Ei bine, acest fapt este discutabil. Cum spunea strabunica mea, barbatul trebuie sa fie, in esenta, putin mai frumos decat dracul (scuzati expresia nefericita!).

Asadar, problema de discutat de fiecare data, intre noi, fetele, dar si in cuplu, cu ei, baietii, este cat de departe rezistam ca el sa mearga cu flirtul? Pentru ca, nu-i asa, el, animal social si, de ce sa nu recunoastem, profund sexual, este atras de tot ce e frumos. Cat de atras, insa, cred ca aici este problema. M-am gandit intr-o zi la aceasta problema, impreuna cu prietenele mele, si am ajuns la concluzia ca ar trebui sa ne facem un soi de lista de masuri de urgenta pentru cazurile in care ii prindem pe cei mai dragi noua (a se citi partenerii nostri mai mult sau mai putin seriosi) cu ochii aiurea... Adica flirtand. Tinand cont de rezultatele sondajului feminin – care mie, una, mi se par cam dureroase – nici nu vreau sa ma gandesc ce s-ar putea intampla in cazul in care ne-am prinde jumatatile inselandu-ne.

Iata top 10 al celor mai naucitoare idei de pedepse oferite de prietenele mele. Baietii cu ochi alunecosi si inima zburdalnica, atentie!

1.Nu l-as mai trezi dimineata, asa incat n-ar mai ajunge la serviciu, s-ar enerva in fiecare dimineata, ar urma sa fie dat afara si, astfel, razbunarea mea ar fi perfecta. Ar ramane si fara mine – pentru ca, evident, l-as parasi pana la urma – si fara slujba. Sa vad eu atunci daca i-ar mai da mana sa invite la cafea toate fufele de la el de la serviciu. Vehementa mea prietena credea ca a gasit solutia perfecta, dar planul ei avea cea mai problematica problema dintre toate. Pentru ca ea ignora faptul ca iubitul ei cel supus chinurilor dormitului tarziu de dimineata s-ar fi prins de la ce i se trage si ar fi luat masuri. Adica ar fi devenit mult mai atent si mai tandru, drept care inima ei s-ar fi inmuiat.

2.Cred ca cea mai mare pedeapsa pentru sotul meu, daca (si numai daca, desi acest daca este de neconceput) l-as prinde flirtand cu alta, ar fi sa nu mai gatesc. E innebunit dupa mancarea gatita de mine (ei bine, ce sa ne ascundem dupa deget, mai ales carnurile), asa ca o saptamana fara ele ar fi mort. Din nou, nefericitei de mine ii revine greua misiune de a-i explica fetii de ce planul nu va functiona. Norocul meu ca explicatia e simpla: exista restaurante, unde mancarea poate sa fie la fel de buna sau poate chiar mai buna. Pam pam!

3.Cum sa te gandesti la o razbunare mai buna decat aceea de a nu-i mai spala hainele. Inca, daca stau bine si ma gandesc, parca am auzit eu prin batrani un plan care spunea ca barbatului care e pe cale sa te insele e bine sa nu-i dai lenjerie curata sau noua. Sa-i fie, na, rusine sa se dezbrace la alta. Marturisesc ca, dupa o portie buna de ras, m-am gandit ca fata are, oarecum, dreptate. Nu e chiar usor sa pleci la vanatoare cu pusca intr-o husa paraginita (chiar daca aparatul in sine de vanat este in stare buna!). Asadar, ideea nu e de lepadat, dar nu vad in ce masura nu va stii bietul consort sa-si cumpere singur lejerie noua si sexy.

4.Cel mai simplu si mai simplu mi se pare sa nu mai vorbesti cu el. Sa vada cum e sa vina acasa ca la o casa pustie, sa vada ce doare sa nu ai cui sa te plangi de cat de prost e sefu’ sau de cat de gasca e colega de birou. Prietenei mele care a avut aceasta idee creata am putut sa-i dai un singur raspuns: barbatii si asa au impresia ca vorbim cam mult. Probabil ca, supus unui astfel de tratament al tacerii, bietul de el nici n-ar observa de la ce a aparut starea asta de bine, dar s-ar bucura cu siguranta de norocu’ care l-a lovit. Si ar trai bine mersi cu ea. Pana la adanci batraneti.

Eu i-as plati-o cu aceeasi moneda.

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